Peace In The Margins

Some of you are aware of the struggles I endured concerning my decision to no longer color my hair and let Mother Nature rule the beauty roost. Sexism and worldly beauty expectations forced me from a place where I had proven myself as a team player with a track record as someone who found a way to get things done when chips were down. I not only left the agency I believed I’d retire from, but I started over in a new state where the only person I knew was my mother and step-father. Do I regret this choice–nope…not one little bit.  

Sure, I miss my kids and grandkids, I miss my BFF and meeting face-to-face with my book club peeps. I miss the comfort of 50 years in one community, but I realize that this time in my life is the Me Era.   

You see, not only is my hair happier (no more harsh chemicals, flaunting beautiful coloring that cannot be imitated, etc.), but I’m happier. I’m not spending hours of my life every four-weeks sitting in a chair, smelling harsh chemicals, and waiting for the color to take. I’m not spending time every day trying to gage the need to “touch-up” the color.  

But it goes much deeper than simply eliminating the beauty salon routine.  

I’ve found a work family that is accepting and supportive of me just the way I am. I am surrounded by the amazing Blue Ridge Mountains and just minutes from the Parkway. I’ve let go of overwhelming stress and have embarked on the journey of discovering who I am without the electronic leash and long hours. I’ve won back my nights and weekends that I spend for emotional, physical, and spiritual resets. I am healthier and happier than I’ve been in a long time. I’ve even taken up a few new hobbies. 

I have learned through this process of shaking off the fake and embracing authenticity that I am stronger than I believed; that I can indeed do the hard things; that I am truly enough; that I can be happy for myself; and that peace is indeed an achievable feat–which in turn, makes others happy to be around me.  

This sounds easy enough, but we all know that doesn’t mean it is. We (the universal we) are the hardest on ourselves, and we allow other people’s perceptions of ourselves to define who we are. And while I can’t tell you what will work for you to create this mental shift, I can tell you what has worked for me.  

I’ve adopted the “Let Them” attitude, meaning: 

If others don’t like you–LET THEM. 

If others talk about you–LET THEM. 

If others judge you–LET THEM. 

…you get the idea.  

I’ve found my own personal peace by allowing others to think and be how they choose to do so. I can’t control anything someone else does, but I can control how I respond.  

So, my beautiful readers, on this…my birthday, I encourage you to embrace your own authenticity–to own your personal style and flare–to do the things you want to do–to know that you are important and the world begs for you to love yourself exactly as you are.