Peace In The Margins

There’s validity to individual love languages – books and tests abound on the subject. I am here to clear things up when it comes to making it count with our partners. While everyone has those specific things that speak directly to their soul like gifts, affirmations, or service, let me tell you what we really want:

We don’t want to ask.

We want our partner to pay attention enough to know what we love most. Then, we want them to deliver in that vein without the need to tell them all the specifics.

For instance, my birthday rolled around recently. My DH planned a day date. We made a stop at a bookstore, then visited a nursery to look for new plant babies. After that, we enjoyed pizza at Mellow Mushroom. Such a simple and low-key thing. And I loved it! I had no idea where we were going. He just told me to get dressed, and “Let’s go.” If you didn’t know, all of those places make me happy!

It really wasn’t where we went (although, it helped that those places were some of my favs), what mattered was I didn’t ask.

It doesn’t take a lot to know what is important to your partner. What they love the most. Right now, my DH is head over heels for ALL THINGS Civil War, so I planned a trip to a nearby battlefield. And he had a BLAST! I would even argue that what made this even more special was that he didn’t have to suggest or ask for the trip.

So, please don’t make us have to ask – just grab us in the kitchen while we’re cleaning up for a late evening dance. Or pack some food and pick us up after work for a sunset picnic at one of our favorite spots. Or even something as simple as creating a cozy spot on the couch with lots of our favorite snacks and queue up one of our favorite movies.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate or expensive. Just don’t make us ask.